Where are you serving this summer, and who is your mentor?
Lynwood Baptist Church in Cape Girardeau with Kevin Goebel

How did you first encounter Jesus Christ, and how has His lordship continued to change your life?
I invited Jesus into my heart at 9 years old and was baptized, but I fell away from my faith as I grew older and hard life challenges came. By the time high school rolled around, I wasn’t sure what I believed and I wasn’t interested in God. What had He ever done for me, anyway? Abandoned me? Left me stranded? Allowed so many horrible things to happen to me? I didn’t want Him. It breaks my heart to think about now, but that’s how I felt. Years of family trauma, hurt, painful change, and feeling completely alone had clouded my sight and hardened my soul. I couldn’t see how desperately I need Him. During my senior year, I experienced heartbreak that brought me to my knees, physically and spiritually, and woke me up after many years of turning away from God; years of refusing to accept His love and looking for acceptance, joy, peace, and freedom in all the wrong places. It was only when I had been let down by the people who I thought would love me the most—friends, boyfriends, people who I shouldn’t have let into my life—did I truly see God for the first time. I saw His grace, forgiveness, and endless love, and I was overwhelmed. It brought all the walls I’d spent years building down. He’d been there the whole time, just waiting for me to look at Him instead of the world. I realized that I had been living life my way in every single way possible, and doing so had only resulted in disappointment and pain so strong that I felt like I would never recover. I couldn’t do it anymore. It was either God’s way or no way at all for me. I decided to rededicate my life to Christ and I haven’t gone back since. Since then, God has changed me in more ways than I can put in words. I see the world and the people that fill it differently. I react with more grace and understanding to things that surprise me, hurt me, and confuse me. I understand that God knows so much better than I ever could, and there is freedom in that. I still struggle, make mistakes, and fall short every single day, but I know that I am never loved any less and God’s got me. Breaking old habits and letting go of trying to control my life is an every day effort. Dying to myself every single day is a constant work in progress, but it is my journey and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I plan to get re-baptized in the near future. I think it’s a good next step for me, and I’m so excited for it. I can’t wait to see how God continues to use me for His kingdom! “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence” (Jeremiah 17:7). “He died for me knowing I might never want Him. What a love. I’ll live for that.” -Marcus Stanley

What does the church mean to you?
I’ve had quite a few different experiences with churches over the years, from Sunday school and youth groups to college groups and serving. In California, my home state for the first 11 years of my life, I attended Qual Lakes Baptist Church. Since moving to Missouri in 2015, I’ve consistently gone to Crossroads Church and served as a pianist and singer on their worship team. Since high school, I’ve also visited friends at their local churches around this area and branched out to a few different youth groups. Now I do the same with college groups. I love to serve wherever I go and meet new people. When I was younger, before I made my faith mine, I would go because my parents—specifically my mom—would want me to go. I didn’t really mind, but my faith wasn’t strong and I was a lukewarm Christian for many years so I didn’t grow spiritually. I just knew a lot of facts. I wasn’t open to growing. I’d go to church camps and have brief spiritual “highs,” but nothing ever stuck. I didn’t want to seek a relationship with God, so my faith was never mine until I made the decision to fully give my life to God at 17 years old. I now intentionally seek friendships and groups of people who love Jesus because I want to—not anyone else—and invest a lot of my time into them. It is a huge part of my life. As far as the Church, the body of Christ, I am a part of it since I am a daughter of the King. I have a role and a home.

As a student, how have you shared – and are currently sharing – your faith with others?
My testimony is a story that I am proud of. The Caidyn from a year ago would not be saying that. Seeing personal growth is really cool. 🙂 The shame that used to be so present in my life is hardly there anymore because of my relationship with God. Despite everything I’ve done, the choices I’ve made, and the people I’ve hurt, I am still saved and loved beyond measure. If my story can help even one person, going through all of it is so, so worth it. God has worked on my heart over the past year to be more vulnerable and open to sharing my story with others around me. Once that door is opened, the other person is usually much more comfortable to share as well. It takes showing vulnerability first, which is sometimes scary, but always worth it. The conversations that have come out of being vulnerable have brought me so much joy. I learn more about my new and old friends every time I take that leap of faith. I do this in my every day life, but I also do it in my college ministry. We have weekly one-on-one meetings with each other for each small group. Those meetings are where I usually have those vulnerable moments the most, but I also have them anywhere else I can.

What do you feel is your vocational call (future career), and how do you anticipate sharing your faith through that call?
I feel called to help people as my career. I am a Social Work major and hope to earn a Master’s degree someday. Currently, I have my eye on either being a high school counselor (because I have a big passion for helping high school students) or a church therapist (which would be amazing). I think I will have many opportunities to share my faith through whatever career path I end up taking within the many different areas of Social Work. My job will give me plenty of moments to be vulnerable and share the gospel.

Why do you want to be a summer missionary?
I believe that missions is a call to share the gospel, whether that’s locally or internationally. They are purposeful movements. They are opportunities to be used by God. I want to be a summer missionary because I have never been able to be a part of missions before and would love to be able to share His love around. As a Christian, I am called to model Christ and share the gospel to the ends of the Earth. I’m hoping to gain experience through this and maybe go on a mission trip someday.